Bathtime
by kasadi
Summary: One sunny summer morning, Ilene decides to put her daughter Serena in charge of giving Luna a bath. Poor, poor Serena.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. –cough-yet-cough-

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Chapter 1**

It was a glorious day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and there had been no attacks on Tokyo for weeks, since the defeat of Queen Beryl. The Sailor Senshi were enjoying the break from their duties, ecstatic at the chance to live a life of normalcy, if only for a brief amount of time.

Best of all, it was summer vacation, meaning that they got a break from the duties of school as well. What could possibly ruin this vacation?

"Serena, I think it's time you gave Luna a bath."

Serena froze, staring at her mom from across the kitchen table. She had just sat down to a late breakfast, and had been in the process of helping herself to a big bowl of grits when her mother had spoken those two dreaded words in the same sentence.

'Luna' and 'bath'.

"Serena!" Ilene scolded. Serena blinked, coming out of her horrified stupor. A quick glance at the table revealed that she had missed her bowl and had dumped a large spoonful of grits on the table. Ilene handed her a cloth and Serena cleaned up the mess she had made, still horrified by the thought of doing what her mother had just said.

"So, give Luna a bath today, alright dear?" Ilene said after taking the cloth from her daughter to wash.

"But mom, why do I need to give Luna a bath? She's perfectly capable of keeping herself clean on her own," Serena protested. Ilene raised a brow at her blonde-haired daughter.

"You mean you haven't noticed Luna's… Ripe smell?" Ilene asked, crinkling her nose slightly at the mere thought of the odor that the cat had recently acquired.

"No," Serena, who had trained herself to breathe through her mouth when she slept for the past week, lied.

"Well, Luna doesn't smell good, Serena. You need to give her a bath. Today," Ilene said. Serena opened her mouth to protest, but Ilene gave her 'The Look'.

The 'I'm-your-mother-therefore-I-rule-your-life-so-you-have-to-listen-to-me' look.

Serena really hated that look.

---------------------

"Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Where aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee yooooooouuuuuuuu?" Serena called as she quietly crept through the second story hallway of the Tsukino home. Her father was at work, her little brother was at a friend's house, and her mother had just left to go grocery shopping, telling Serena that she wanted a clean cat to greet her when she got home.

But Serena was having some trouble, as Luna had decided to pull a Houdini.

"Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Serena called again. She poked her head through the doorway of her bedroom, sky blue eyes searching for any sign of the black cat.

Nope. Nothin-

Wait. Wait a minute.

Was that a black tail sticking out from under her bed? Serena squinted her eyes, tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration. It was hard to tell in the dim light of her room. She didn't dare to turn the lights on. Then Luna would know that she had been found, and would further retreat under Serena's bed.

Quietly, Serena crept into her room. She carefully inched across the floor, not making a sound. She suddenly came to a halt, and silently counted down in her hand.

'3…'

Serena tensed.

'2…'

Slowly, she leaned forward.

'1!'

Serena leapt forward, landing on her hands and news. In a flash, she grabbed the tail with both hands and pulled.

Author's Notes

Well, I originally planned to post this a lot sooner, and leave it as a one-shot. But then I got cold feet and I couldn't bring myself to even finish the story. So I decided that I'd post this much, and see if I got any feedback.

If you want more of this story, please review and let me know what you think of it. They don't have to be long or detailed. They could simply read 'good, keep going' or 'bad, take it down'. Just review, please. More reviews means more inspiration to write. Less reviews means less inspiration to write, and a slim chance of another chapter being posted.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned Sailor Moon, I'd live in Japan. But I don't. So I don't own Sailor Moon.

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Chapter 2**

"LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GOOOOOOOOO!"

Serena held Luna by the tail, her arm outstretched to keep her safe from the black cat's sharp claws. The blonde was surprised by the cat's hissy fit; Luna had told her countless times that she needed to act more mature. Therefore, one should not find it surprising that Luna's sudden lack of self-control amused Serena.

'At least I'm not the one who throws a temper tantrum every time I have to get a bath,' Serena thought. It was true. She had matured since she was eleven.

But let's get back on track, shall we?

Ignoring the cat's protests, Serena marched out of her room and down the hall towards the bathroom. She paused outside of her parents' room, a thoughtful look on her face. Making a silent decision, she entered the room, holding the still-yowling Luna by the tail.

She emerged a few moments later, a couple of her mother's hard-back romance novels tucked underneath her arm.

---------------------

"Wait here, Luna! I'll be right back!"

"DON'T YOU DARE-" Luna was cut off as Serena unceremoniously dropped her into the dirty clothes hamper. A pair of red eyes glared daggers at the face of the blonde who cheerfully waved and closed the top of the hamper. A soft thump confirmed the cat's suspicions of what the books were for.

Serena clapped her hands together before turning and skipping out of the bathroom. Humming a cheerful little tune to herself, she left her cat behind; trapped in a dirty clothes hamper with the heavy books she had borrowed from her mother resting over the lid. She was sure that the cat would not be able to knock the lid off and escape. She thought she had won.

But oh how wrong she was.

---------------------

When Serena returned ten minutes later, she was well armed. She had the special shampoo Luna needed, a blow dryer, and a Luna's hairbrush, all inside a bucket. She had also changed into a right attire for Bath War II (Bath War I had occurred the last time Serena had given Luna a bath; it had also been her first time, and she had the battle scars to prove how inexperienced she had been); a long sleeved light pink shirt and a pair of overalls. And of course, she had tied her hair up into a bun so that Luna wouldn't try anything like she did last time. Luckily, the six inches of hair that had been lost grew back quickly.

She opened the door to the bathroom, unaware of the horror that awaited her inside.

"Okay, Luna. Time for your- AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Serena dropped the bucket, blue eyes wide and staring in dismay at the horrific sight in the bathroom.

Luna had obviously escaped; the hamper was on its side, the top of it shredded into pieces, as well as all of the clothes that had been inside it. But that wasn't what had made her scream.

What had made her scream was the sight of her mother's favorite romance novels, shredded and scattered all around the bathroom floor.

Slowly, her look of dismay melted into a look of fear (at the thought of what her mother would do to her when she found out about this), then a look of more fear (at the thought of what her FATHER would do to her when her mother told him what had happened), followed by a look of annoyance (at the thought of what her brother would say when he found out about this), and finally into a look of rage (at the thought of a certain black-haired, red-eyed cat who would meet her doom as soon as she was found).

Serena only uttered three words as her gaze flickered to the small, open bathroom window.

"This. Means. WAR!"

Author's Notes

Yay! I got five reviews! Thanks to **Sailor Star Super, Lunadoragon, Richforce, Princess Cornelia, **and **sailorceb** for reviewing!

I know that more people are reading, though. Please review, and feel free to send me any suggestions for this story!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: YES, IT'S TRUE! I, A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO DOESN'T GET AN ALLOWANCE IS THE LEGAL OWNER OF SAILOR MOON! BWAHAHAHAHAHA- Ok. I actually don't own Sailor Moon. But I do own this plot.

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Chapter 3**

The streets of Tokyo were usually very crowded, and therefore difficult to maneuver through. When walking down the sidewalks, one must expect to bump into, be nearly run over by, actually be run over by, or run into someone at least else 27 times. 23 if you were lucky.

However, there were two exceptions to the above statement. And both involve a certain odangoed-haired teenager.

One exception occurred every school morning when Serena Tsukino could be spotted as a blur, running down the sidewalk at top speed, screeching at the top of her lungs about being late.

Now, do you think anyone (barring a certain ebony-haired young man who was the prince of Earth in his past lifetime) is actually stupid enough to NOT get out of her way on those mornings?

That's what I thought.

Now, there is one other way the teenaged girl could make a crowded street become temporarily un-crowded.

And that was by storming down the street with a murderous glare in her normally cheerful sky blue eyes.

A glare that not even a Mr. Darien Shields had seen before in his life.

Therefore, it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that the streets of Tokyo were abandoned as soon as word got out that Serena had left her house looking for her dear, sweet, beloved cat Luna with an 'I'm-out-for-blood-right-now-so-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you-get-the-heck-out-of-my-way-and-don't-mess-with-me' look on her face.

By the time Serena had gotten a block away from her house, all of the streets within a three mile radius resembled those that could be found in a ghost town.

Poor, poor Luna. She may not live long enough to see the bath that she dreads so much.

---------------------

"Stupid cat. She's soooooo going to get it when I find her. She'll wish she was never sent to this time, I'll make sure of that! Thinks she can mess with ME, huh? Well, she's got another thing coming!" Serena muttered darkly to herself as she marched down the deserted streets of Tokyo. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts of how death should come to Luna that she didn't notice where she was going.

Therefore, she was quite surprised when she suddenly found herself standing in front of the supermarket. She stared at the sliding glass entrance/exit doors to the large store, astounded that she had already traveled twenty minutes from her house without seeing so much as a single person.

But something was bothering her… She had the feeling that she was forgetting something important that involved the supermarket. What was it?

The blonde stood there, staring at the doors with a look of such concentration on her face that, if there had been other people around, once could have sworn they could hear Jeopardy music coming from out of no where.

Suddenly, a flash of blue, slightly curly hair caught Serena's attention, effectively breaking the teen out of her trance. Her sky blue eyes widened in horror, and her jaw dropped about three inches.

One word escaped her throat in the form of a shrill scream.

"MOM!"

Author's Notes

Sorry that it took so long to get this chapter up, reviewers! I got the first part of it done last week, but I never got around to finishing it up until now.

Thanks to **Princess Cornelia**, **Richforce**, **Livianna-the-mean-stepsister**, **Lunadoragon**, **neffster**, **sailorceb**, **DarkPaladin86**, and **Wolfbane2005** for their reviews! You guys rock!

Special thanks to **Lunadoragon** for adding Bathtime to her C2 Community!

Please keep the reviews coming! They really get me excited about writing! Any comments or suggestions are welcome!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon.

Random person: … That's it?

Kasadi: Yes. That's it. Unless you want to be shot.

Random person: ….

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Chapter 4**

Panicking and flailing her arms as she ran around in circles, Serena screamed at the top of her lungs for nearly ten seconds before spotting the large cart of oranges that was conveniently set up right beside the entrance to the store.

Without a second thought, the blonde launched herself off the ground and flew through the air ten feet, landing ungracefully behind the cart. She scrambled around for a few seconds, and then curled herself into the fetal position, hiding behind the stand as best she could. Blue eyes wide with fright, she bit her fingernails nervously, one phrase repeating over and over in her head like a broken record.

'CRUD CRUD CRUD CRUD CRUD CRUD CRUD.'

* * *

"MOM!"

Ilene Tsukino blinked, her gaze turning from the asparagus she was inspecting to the large sliding glass doors of the supermarket.

"That's strange… I could have sworn I just heard Serena right now…"

With a shrug, she tossed the vegetable into her shopping cart and headed towards the checkout counter. After paying for her groceries, the woman loaded up the many bags in her cart and exited the supermarket, stopping just outside a stand of oranges that was parked outside the store. Unaware that something was amiss, she pulled out her cell phone and punched in a few numbers, then held it up to her ear to listen to the ringing.

'NOT MY CELL PHONE. ANYTHING BUT MY CELL PHONE!' Serena thought, panic starting to take over once again.

Ilene frowned as the answering machine for her house played.

"Where is she?" the mother wondered aloud as she hung up her cell phone after leaving a message on the answering machine. Her frown grew as she pushed the cart to her car.

"I swear, if that cat isn't clean when I get home…"

* * *

Serena let out a sigh of relief as she collapsed onto the ground, thanking her lucky starts for her good fortune. The moment quickly ended, however, when the last words she had heard her mother say finally clicked in her brain.

"_If that cat isn't clean when I get home…"_

… Crap.

Serena sprang to her feet, realized that her mother hadn't left the parking lot, shrieked, and threw herself to the pavement once more, crawling behind the orange cart once again, just as her mother whipped her head around to look back at where she had just been a moment ago.

"I could have sworn I just heard… Oh, my mind must be playing tricks on me again," she muttered. She shrugged, finished loading up the groceries into the trunk, and got into her car. After about half a minute, Serena heard the sound of the car leaving the parking lot. Letting out a sigh of relief, she slowly poked her head out from behind the cart. Upon seeing that her mother was indeed gone, the blonde jumped to her feet and let out a victorious laugh. Her moment of celebration was brought to an abrupt end, however, when she once again recalled what her mother had said before leaving.

Anger taking over once more, Serena stormed away from the supermarket, eyes narrowed into slits as she searched her surroundings for any sight of her black cat.

"The very MOMENT I find that cat…"

* * *

It was an hour after the incident at the supermarket when Serena finally trudged up the street to her house, her temper even worse than before. The only thing keeping her from looking ready to kill the next living thing she saw was her exhaustion from running all over Tokyo in search of Luna.

Muttering death threats about the cat under her breath, Serena turned into her front yard, trudging across the grass slowly, ignorant to her surroundings.

Until she heard a snicker.

Her head snapped over to her right so fast it should have hurt. However, pain was the last thing on Serena's mind at the moment.

All of her attention was focused on the snickering black cat sitting high up in the branches of the tree in the Tsukino's front yard.

It was then that Serena realized that Luna had been up the tree the WHOLE FUDGING TIME.

And she took this information very well.

"**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**

Any brave souls who had been about to step outside their houses to see if the situation was safe retreated back into their houses and locked the doors.

_Author's Note_

I'm alive! Shocking, isn't it? I'm REALLY REALLY sorry about this chapter being put up so late! I didn't mean to! School just kinda piled up all at once, and I was scrambling around trying to work on projects left and right.

I don't know when the next chapter will be posted, as I've been assigned this HUGE project that's worth 2000 points of my grade. It's over November 10th, and I'm hoping I'll get the next chapter posted sometime after then. I plan to get one up by Thanksgiving break at the latest. Thanks for being patient with me, guys! I really do appreciate it! Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! I know it's not my best, but I really wanted to get this one posted soon.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I'm not worthy of owning Sailor Moon. Look at what happens when I write fanfiction! I take forever to update. Maybe I should jump in front of a car after I finish this story…

Key

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

**Chapter 4**

To say that the blonde was mad would be a serious understatement. She let out a roar- not a shriek, a roar- and lunged at the tree, blue eyes narrowed into slits as they glared up at the smug kitty in the tree. Luna only stared down in amusement as the murderous blonde tried to claw her way up the tree.

"LUNA, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! I'M GOING TO THROW YOU IN THAT BATHTUB AND SCRUB YOU THROUGH TO THE BONE!!" Serena screamed up at her feline advisor/house pet.

"You have to catch me first, Serena," Luna said, tauntingly lunging forward, as if about to jump down from safety and try to outrun Serena. Serena howled, and her efforts doubled. Luna rocked back on her paws, her sense of balance keeping her safely on the tree branch she was perched on. A deliciously evil idea entered the cat's head.

She twisted slightly, unfurling her tail and letting it dangle down towards Serena. The blonde's eyes flashed, and she jumped up, hands reached out to snatch the cat by her tail and pull her down to her watery doom.

Quick as a flash, Luna pulled her tail up out of Serena's reach. Serena shrieked louder than a banshee, her eyes flashing dangerously. Luna snickered, thoroughly amused by her charge's antics. Serena jumped up, arms flailing above her angrily as she sought to grab onto the cat.

A few minutes passed this way. Luna would lower her tail and jerk it out of Serena's reach at the last second, and the blonde was getting angrier by the second. Finally, she screamed and stormed off into the house.

Although Luna was amused by this, she also was somewhat worried. Serena was a stubborn person, and normally wouldn't give up so easily. For a few seconds, Luna wondered what the blonde was planning, but she immediately dismissed the thought as ridiculous.

Serena would never be able to come up with a plan that could outsmart her.

* * *

"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, that cat is going to pay! She's going to learn to never, EVER mess with me!" Serena mumbled as she stomped into the kitchen. Still grumbling to herself, she opened the cupboard and rummaged through it for a moment. 

"Where is it…? Where is- Aha! Here it is!" Serena grinned, pulling her arm out of the cupboard, a box held in her hand. With an evil laugh, she shut the cupboard and skipped out of the room. After tripping over one of Sammy's shoes that had been carelessly left lying in the living room ("Even when he's not HOME he annoys me!"), Serena made it to the door, which she threw open.

Sticking her head out the door, she looked at Luna. Her evil grin grew winder. Luna stared at her charge, wondering what she was up to.

"Oh Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Serena said in a sing-song voice. Luna bristled, alarm bells going off in her head.

"Look what I haaaaaaaaaaaave for yooooooooooooooou!" The girl pulled the box out from its hiding place behind her back with a flourish, waving the brightly-colored cardboard container at the feline.

Luna's eyes widened, and her whiskers twitched.

Her gaze was fixed completely on the box in her charge's hands. The bold letters stared out at her from across the yard, taunting her.

Mr. Num-num's Meow Meow Treats.

And Luna had only one thought.

'Oh, sugar honey iced tea.'

_Author's Notes_

I feel horrible. Absolutely horrible. The wait you've had to endure for this update is inexcusable. And so I have decided to make a New Year's Resolution. (I can't even make THOSE on time)

1) From now on, I will sit down at my computer every weekend and type up chapters.

2) I will also make it my goal to update every two weeks at the latest.

3) If I cannot type the story for whatever reason, I will write it down on paper.

Feel free to send me reviews full of scolding and screaming for the long wait. I deserve them.


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